Crater Lake To Stanley, Day 6 : Discomfort

I’m in a tiny town called Wagontire that’s really no more than a single residence with a couple of amenities tacked onto it: A cafe, an RV park, and a motel. Even so, it has an entry in Google Maps, so it must be the real thing.

The motel portion consists of one long building, subdivided into a row of six rooms. According to the woman who came out to greet me when I arrived, only the first two rooms in the row are functional and therefore rentable, and the rest are in some state of disrepair.

You can tell that this is the case by looking at the roof of the building. It gets progressively more damaged from one end to the other. When I asked the woman if she had any rooms available, she said that the first two were occupied, but I could stay in the last room on the end, provided I was okay being in a room that didn’t have a toilet or a shower or any running water.

“How much that would run me?”

“Oh hell I wouldn’t charge for that. You can stay in there for free.”

I said that was very nice and then asked her where I could get some water. She had just closed the restaurant (it was only open until about 4:00pm) so she led me around to the front of it to let me in and fill my canteen.

An old couple driving an RV rolled into the parking lot. It was one of those huge RVs, a house on wheels. The engine sounded like it was in poor shape. The old man sat in the cab with the engine running while the old woman came out and asked the lady if they had any good stuff to eat at the restaurant.

“No, I just closed it up. But what did you want?”

“Well, we’d like a cup of coffee if you have that…”

“Oh, why not. I’ve got the door open anyway. Come on in.”

The old man shut off his idling motorhome and he got out. The woman filled my canteen with water and then served the old couple coffee and told me that if I wanted, I could take the five gallon bucket that was already in the last room and fill it with water in the laundry area in back of the restaurant, so that I could pour it into the toilet, making it flush. I told her I hadn’t quite decided whether I was staying the night or whether I was going to press on to the next town, but I would stay in that room on the end if I decided to stay here.

“Alright. The room is unlocked, so just go in. There’s an electric ceiling fan that works.”

She closed up the restaurant again, and I rested outside on one of the wooden benches, looking around at my bike and the RV and the string of motel rooms, wondering what to do. I noticed that my bike was learning against a post with horseshoes nailed to each end that was meant to have horses tied to it, which I thought was appropriate, since it was the thing I had been riding all day.

The old couple went back out to their RV and had considerable trouble starting the thing up. I think they were still getting used to the idea that it had a generator as well as an engine and that the two couldn’t be started at the same time, or something like that. After an entire five minutes of revving and chugging and bangs and ignition noises, he finally got it started, and waved at me, and drove on.

Eventually I decided that since the room had an electric ceiling fan, that meant it had electricity. Perhaps I could go in and charge up the GPS tracker which had nearly run down, and charge up the laptop, and synchronize all my gadgets and whatnot. The only problem was that I had almost no food. I had a bunch of really dry and crappy protein bars and a little fake cardboard milk carton of chewable vitamin-C candy that was disgusting and waxy, and that was all. But since I was feeling tired already, I decided to wheel the bike over to that room at the end of the building and try to make a night of it.

So, here I am in this room.

It has two double beds with mismatching covers and a nightstand between them bearing an ancient electric clock shaped like a soft rectangle, with those 50’s-style soft rectangular numbers on it. For flooring it has a bunch of old peeling vinyl tiles. The peeling is quite bad just inside the door. Whatever color they used to be is unknown; they’re different shades of brown now.

Across from the beds is a wall-mounted gas heater, vertical standing, that is broken or turned off. If you stand near it you can hear the wind whistling through the pipe that leads up from the floor to some vent in the roof. There is a big window occupying the wall between the front door and the corner of the building, broken into multiple panes, with one of them stuck permanently open a few inches. Thick curtains cover the window.

As the wind travels across the roof of the building it enters the vent before it reaches the corner near the window, so you hear the noise in the heater first and then you hear the noise against the corner of the room by the open pane. Sometimes it sounds like a person humming. Other times it sounds like the howl of a coyote, cut short.

To the left of the heater is a door leading into a bathroom. The door doesn’t quite fit in its frame any more and won’t close. If you stand next to it, you can feel unnaturally cool air seeping out from behind the door. The reason for this becomes clear once you actually enter the bathroom and look around.

Inside, there’s a small window which is caked shut, and looks out onto a view of desert scrubland and nothing else. The toilet is filled with a tiny amount of water and dead insects and black specks of mold. Jutting out from the wall next to it is a sink, which is bone dry. The cabinets above the sink are open, and the mirror is covered in dust. There’s a bunch of remodeling hardware scattered on the floor. The shower is one big piece of painted metal and has been ripped out from wall. All the floorboards beneath it have been torn up and removed, and It’s sitting directly on the naked crossbeams under the building. Cool earth-smelling air is constantly streaming up out of this hole and filling the bathroom. It smells and feels like the interior of a gopher hole.

Among the hardware is a plastic bucket, empty except for a collection of lifeless bugs at the bottom. It’s probably the bucket for dumping water into the toilet in order to make it flush, but no one has stayed in this room for a long time, so the bucket is completely dry, and bugs have been wandering over the lip of the bucket and been unable to escape. When I was standing in this room looking around, I tipped the bucket over and several of the beetles dragged themselves out and crawled weakly towards the hole in the floor.

When I went back into the main room and tried to close the door it wouldn’t close all the way, so I wedged it as closed as I could and searched the room for a power socket to plug in my laptop. I found one but it was behind a small beat-up desk, so I hauled the desk along the wall until it was pressed against the bathroom door, holding it shut. My laptop is now sitting on the desk looking extremely out of place with its sleek illuminated keyboard.

Above the desk, at just about ceiling level, is a small pair of stag antlers nailed to the wall. They’re still rooted to a section of the carapace that would have formed the top of the animal’s skull, and there’s still a fringe of dried fur attached to that. The nails holding it to the ceiling have been driven straight through this carapace. This isn’t actually the worst taxidermy I’ve seen on my trip through here but it’s pretty bad. Complimenting the antlers are a half-dozen pictures in frames, hung randomly around the room. One of them is a shiny velvet painting of a family of black bears playing around in front of a cabin. Depending on where you stand, the reflected light makes them look menacing or playful. Are they just passing by? Or have they just emerged from the cabin, after dining on the humans within, like the illustration on the last page of some old-world fairy tale?

The ceiling fan does work but there doesn’t seem to be any way to turn it on without turning on the lights, so it’s off for now. The ticking of the old electric clock is very audible in the room, but I don’t really feel like rooting around behind the dresser to try to unplug it. The bike is here, standing in the middle of the floor. Some of my gear is spread out across one bed and I’m laying on the other.

Right now I’m wondering how I’m going to be able to sleep once all the daylight fades. At 9:00pm the last of the light will be gone and then this room will be in complete darkness, except maybe for my phone, and the screensaver of the laptop. I can see myself napping here during the day and I probably should have tried a little harder to actually nap instead of listening to an audiobook. When night falls I’m not sure what I can do. This room is very strange.

I don’t have to worry about the outside world because the door does lock and the shades do close, and by all appearance there’s nothing here that anyone would want to break in to steal. But the consolation of the lock on the door also brings with it the disturbing condition that I’m sealed inside. I’m tired, my dreams have been very weird lately, it’s almost completely dark, the room has no phone, and I have no cell signal so there’s no one I can call. As a matter of fact there is only one person in the world right now who knows where I am exactly, and that’s the woman who told me about this room.

At about 10:00pm I wake up to the howling of coyotes.

About an hour after that I wake up to the sound of mooing cows. The noises seem to be coming from all around outside the room, as though a hundred cows were on a midnight walk through Wagontire. It’s bizarre but I have no interest in opening the door for a better look. I turn over and claw for a bit more sleep.

Crater Lake To Stanley, Day 4 : Discomfort

It is afternoon, and I have been on the bike for about six hours. I have turned from a very dangerous, busy stretch of highway onto a long causeway across a dry swamp, which has become a winding ribbon of road through a National Park, packed with frustratingly short hills. Each hill is at least long enough to take away all my momentum, and many of them are long enough to make me dismount the bike and lay in the road, exhausted.

“At least I’m in a national park,” I think. “Nice empty forest all around.”

I decide to go poop in the woods. I tromp down the embankment and get ten feet into the trees, and pick the base of a large tree as a good pooping spot. While I’m there I look around and discover that someone has pounded half a dozen nails into the tree, for no apparent purpose, and then discarded a couple of beer cans, and an empty fire extinguisher. (A fire extinguisher? What happened here?) The items have been scoured by at least one turn of the seasons. Then I look around again, and realize that all along the road, possibly for the entire length of the National Park, the forest is a garbage dump.

It is evening, near sunset. I have just descended five miles of steep, switchback-filled highway. I am low on water and somewhere near the 80-mile mark. My GPS crapped out at 50 miles and I had to reset it. Somewhere ahead of me is the decrepit town of Silver Lake. I want to go at a slower pace, but every time I stop for a rest, I collide with the cloud of mosquitoes that has collected in the vortex behind my moving bicycle. They quickly motivate me to start pedaling again.

I reach the top of a hill, and there in the distance I spot Table Mountain. It’s really more of a mesa than a mountain. There are some rough campsites at the top, about a thousand feet up from the valley floor. I stare at the steep sides for a while and then laugh, because I know there is no way I am going to pedal to the top of that thing tonight.

I take a picture of it over my handlebars instead.

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Crater Lake To Stanley, Day 3 : Discomfort

I wake up at 4:00am, and though I’m still feeling a bit fatigued, my brain will not let me sleep any longer. So I shower and get on the road. Too trusting of Google Maps, I take a “short cut” that ends up diverting me down a mile of gravel road, instead of the paved highway I rode on the way in. The sunburn on my hands slowly fades into an unpleasant, mottled tan, still throbbing. My knuckles dry out. They look like chunks of ash from a fire pit.

Crater Lake To Stanley, Day 2 : Discomfort

The kayak ride is fantastic, but after eight hours in the sun, and after ten hours from the previous day, my exposed hands have been burned red. I can tell from the dull throb that the damage is pretty severe. Thank goodness for the long-sleeved shirts and the hat.

Sunburns always exhaust me. Perhaps it’s just a correlation, between the hard work I usually do when I’m out in the sun, and the sun’s burning effect. But one way or the other it sucks. After I return my kayak, I wolf down some restaurant food and creep into my tent before the clock has even reached 8:00pm.

Crater Lake To Stanley, Day 1 : Discomfort

I wake up and wash my face, then head to the nearby lodge to take a shower. There I discover that the showers are coin-operated, quarters-only, and limited to four minutes at a time. It costs me almost five dollars to get clean, including the time it takes for the water to actually get warm.

Back from the showers, my next task is to install the shoe cleats for my bicycle pedals onto my shoes. The cleats attach with four hex screws, and before my trip I made sure that I had a hex wrench to fit them, but when I examine the undersides of the shoes, I discover that they have metal plates on them that act as placeholders to protect the spaces where the cleats will be installed. Unfortunately, those metal plates are screwed on with regular Phillips screws.

“What the hell?” I mutter under my breath, and walk back to the lodge and borrow a screwdriver from the local handyman. I waste almost half an hour jamming the screwdriver up against the bottom of the shoes, trying to loosen the absurdly tight protector plates.

Finally I get them installed, and hurl the protector plates angrily into a nearby trash can. Now all I need to do is get the rest of my gear attached to the bike:

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Heaped on the picnic table, it looks like way too much gear.

A quarter-mile into my first day of riding, I encounter my first crushed animal. It’s a ground squirrel, pressed flat into the shoulder, burned grey by the sun. Almost against my will, I begin to keep a tally in the back of my head. By the end of the trip, I will have seen:

  • Two more dead ground squirrels.
  • The bleached bones of a sheep.
  • A large dried up frog, flattened upside-down on the roadway.
  • The jumbled skeleton of a large animal mixed into a heap of dirt.
  • A rabbit freshly eviscerated by a hawk.
  • The carcass of a small unidentifiable animal, heaped on the walkway of a cement bridge. It was in one piece except for a chunk of its backbone, torn out and flung about six yards away. Another interrupted meal, perhaps.
  • Four small altars, memorializing parts of the road where people had died. (These are known as “descansos”.)
  • Six dead snakes. One was apparently crushed by the road-striping truck; it was dead on the white stripe with another white stripe painted right over it. Another was the withered fragments of a rattlesnake, tangled with a small wooden cross, knocked over on the ground. Another had been threaded into a chain-link fence, either as a trophy or as a warning.

And these are just the dead things. Along the way I will also pass an extraordinary amount of trash and abandoned machinery, and two entire generations of people’s discarded beer cans. (How can I tell? The label art.)