The Wool Museum and a Smal Bru

A pretty good sleep! The bathrooms were out of order, but the place was so cheap it was still worth it.

The site was in shade, but it was quiet.
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The site was in shade, but it was quiet.

On the way out I saw the most Norwegian advertisement ever:

Very, very Norwegian. If you don’t vibe with this poster, get out of the country.
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Very, very Norwegian. If you don’t vibe with this poster, get out of the country.

Down in the city I found a cool spot next to a bakery and a café, and lingered for a while.

Time for some town square brekkie!
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Time for some town square brekkie!

The Eurovelo-1 took a few liberties, passing through neighborhoods and hopping across a big highway. At one point it borrowed an access road inside a golf course. All of it was better than busy roads though!

Is there some city ordinance declaring that all houses be white??
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Is there some city ordinance declaring that all houses be white??

The Eurovelo borrows a chunk of golf course here. Highly amusing!
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The Eurovelo borrows a chunk of golf course here. Highly amusing!

More serious wood business. A lot of wood gets burned in this country…
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More serious wood business. A lot of wood gets burned in this country…

Not your ordinary run-of-the-mill lawn ornament.
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Not your ordinary run-of-the-mill lawn ornament.

I love this yellow bush! What is it?
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I love this yellow bush! What is it?

I came across the largest stash of giant toilet paper rolls I’d seen yet in Norway:

Another good day at the giant toilet paper factory!
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Another good day at the giant toilet paper factory!

And soon after that, the first appearance of horses! I knew they were around but it was nice to see them live.

Aha, I knew I’d find horses around here eventually.
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Aha, I knew I’d find horses around here eventually.

The road leapt uphill and zig-zagged, and I went even slower than usual. When I spotted an enormous building that looked like a repurposed factory I had to investigate.

What’s this curious building? It’s the Sjølingstad Uldvarefabrik!
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What’s this curious building? It’s the Sjølingstad Uldvarefabrik!

Thanks to a handy translate app, I learned that I was looking at an old wool mill!

Aha, thank you translation app… Now I know I can ring the doorbell.
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Aha, thank you translation app… Now I know I can ring the doorbell.

A nearby kiosk explained things even more. It was time to check this out.

Here, learn about the museum we’re about to see!
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Here, learn about the museum we’re about to see!

About Sjølingstad Woollen Mill (English taken directly from sign)

Sjølingstad Woollen Mill was established in 1894 and produced yarn and fabrics until 1984. In 1986 the idea of reopening the mill as a “working textile museum” was launched. The spirit of days gone by still linger in these buildings where fabrics are produced on the old machinery, driven by our water power station with a turbine from 1913.

A visit to the museum during the summer season gives you the possibility to get a guided tour around the factory. You learn the history of the mill, and follow the production line from raw wool to finished fabrics.

I parked the bike right out front in the empty parking lot, and rang the bell. About a minute later a woman came walking around the side of the building. She explained that since it was a very slow day, she’d been doing chores on the opposite side of the complex. There were no tours scheduled, but she said she would give me an abbreviated version, and I was welcome to take pictures. Awesome!

A number of these old machines are still in regular use, even now!
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A number of these old machines are still in regular use, even now!

Sacks of raw material, and more machines.
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Sacks of raw material, and more machines.

Notice the big leather drive belts connected to the power source near the ceiling.
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Notice the big leather drive belts connected to the power source near the ceiling.

Another of the old machines, still in regular use.
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Another of the old machines, still in regular use.

So many amazing colors!
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So many amazing colors!

Want to hoist some wool?
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Want to hoist some wool?

The machines are still in regular use! The original factory was a building behind the current one, made of wood, and full of more of such machines.  But in the early half of the last century, it got struck by lightning and burned down. I didn’t ask how many times it was struck over the years before the fire happened, but I suspect lightning was inevitable, keeping that many giant metal machines this far up near the top of a steep hill. I can almost visualize the giant haze of potential charge, pulling down on the thunderclouds…  KACHOWW!!

They had a gift shop and a small cafeteria. I spent a long time staring at their home-spun yarn, trying to work out which colors made a good combination for a knitting project.

I do believe this is the river that powers the factory!
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I do believe this is the river that powers the factory!

Once I was back outside there was nothing to do but keep going up the hill. At least I’d replenished my snack supply…

Okay, I’ve been climbing for a long time.
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Okay, I’ve been climbing for a long time.

Statue of Peder Claussøn Friis made by Gustav Vigeland
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Statue of Peder Claussøn Friis made by Gustav Vigeland

Cool statue but it turns out I can’t read the plaque, and it’s not on any map. Dang!
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Cool statue but it turns out I can’t read the plaque, and it’s not on any map. Dang!

This should be connected to a tiny grinder that dispenses birdseed onto a plate!
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This should be connected to a tiny grinder that dispenses birdseed onto a plate!

The route became a bike path, running alongside a busy chunk of highway. A few big trucks glided past. Looking at them, I realized I have a lot in common with long-haul truckers. We both carry a lot of stuff, move defensively around cars, and are focused on long distance. Also, we both bring a tiny living space with us:  The trucker pulls into a truck stop and sleeps in their cab, and I pull into a campsite and sleep in a tent unfolded from my luggage.

I like this comparison more than the one between me and RV drivers … probably because I don’t like RV drivers. They’re not very pleasant to meet on the road. They tend to have no idea how big they are or what speed is reasonable.

Yes! I’m a highway snob! Yes, yes, aren’t we all. Everyone thinks they’re an above-average driver. It’s a statistical conundrum.

“Farts dampere” … you mean pants?
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“Farts dampere” … you mean pants?

For a while there were actually so many houses along the road that it was impossible to find an anonymous spot to pee. Definitely an “old person on a bike tour” problem!

Part of the reason these houses can be built so close to water is, the tide does not change much here.
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Part of the reason these houses can be built so close to water is, the tide does not change much here.

Nice shed you got there!
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Nice shed you got there!

Hey, finally! A house in a festive color!
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Hey, finally! A house in a festive color!

I appear to have gained some altitiude.
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I appear to have gained some altitiude.

Why haul your stuff up all the stairs, when you can haul it halfway, to a cart on rails?
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Why haul your stuff up all the stairs, when you can haul it halfway, to a cart on rails?

I stopped near the shore to eat the rest of a bland sandwich I’d saved from the bakery, and the trees and flowers demanded the fancy camera:

Sometimes it really is dang pretty out here.
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Sometimes it really is dang pretty out here.

Probably treacherous in winter, but a lovely walk in the spring!
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Probably treacherous in winter, but a lovely walk in the spring!

Spring has sprung.
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Spring has sprung.

Charming roadside color.
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Charming roadside color.

Similar to the ground cover I saw all over Iceland.
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Similar to the ground cover I saw all over Iceland.

The road turned away from the coast and sent me up another massive hill. Soon I was looking at a lake instead of the ocean. Midway up, someone had decided to harvest some lumber.

Hmm; why would they put the combination to my luggage on a log?
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Hmm; why would they put the combination to my luggage on a log?

Don’t chew mess with mah wood!! It’s privat.
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Don’t chew mess with mah wood!! It’s privat.

I took a long break at the top of the hill. I’d been grabbing onto the guardrail at the edge of the road and resting while still seated on the bike. It was nice to walk around for a few minutes.

Moments later I was at the bottom of the hill, and near the shore again.

After all this cycling I could use a small bru.
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After all this cycling I could use a small bru.

I didn’t think the bridge was very small… But they probably meant “narrow”.

Oh boy, here we go! I hope no cars come…
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Oh boy, here we go! I hope no cars come…

After the bridge I ran into a series of mega-steep hills. For the next three hours I cranked away. Some locals taking a stroll gave me indecipherable words of encouragement. Folks driving cars looked at me with an expression of wary respect like you’d give to someone who was insane but had clearly committed fully to their insanity.

I think I’ve been on this dang hill for an hour…
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I think I’ve been on this dang hill for an hour…

As I descended into the town of Lyndal I saw yet another burned out house. Another candle left burning? Another space heater too close to a curtain? Who knows.

Okay, this is really looking like a pattern. What’s happening with fire safety in Norway?
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Okay, this is really looking like a pattern. What’s happening with fire safety in Norway?

I stayed in town just long enough to locate a Thai restaurant and photograph a daring statue:

I don’t know what the inscription actually is, but it might as well be “An Ode To Badonkadonk”
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I don’t know what the inscription actually is, but it might as well be “An Ode To Badonkadonk”

Half an hour later I found the campground, and rolled over to my numbered spot. The reception building was closed. No one came poking around while I was setting up my tent, so I figured the online booking had settled the matter.

There was a cooking area with a power outlet, so I charged my phone and battery and laptop all at once and vacuumed up the soup from the Thai place. Another day of burning too much energy. Good!

Tom kai soup with ramen-like noodles. Why not!
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Tom kai soup with ramen-like noodles. Why not!

Okay, I’ll admit, this is pretty handy.
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Okay, I’ll admit, this is pretty handy.

It was bedtime but still confusingly light outside. I was glad for my sleep mask.

I am pleased by this camping vista.
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I am pleased by this camping vista.

Escaflowne Corner, Episode 3

One of the things I’ve always struggled with in anime is the pacing of the exposition.  Shows tend to base their scripts on manga, and that form being closer to “reading with pictures”, you often get multi-page hunks of exposition where people – or the narrator – ramble on for entire paragraphs instead of actually exchanging dialogue with each other.  Meanwhile, the action always stops cold.  If you don’t rewrite it, you get the same thing on the screen and the pacing is awful.

Escaflowne seems to be defying that pattern, but doing it badly:  Instead of exposition dumps, you get no exposition at all.  No one explains their history, or their reasoning, or their feelings.  Characters have barely a chance to react or explain themselves before the plot skips forward to the next twist, which tends to end earlier than you expect, usually by interrupting a scene in progress.  I’m on the third episode which means I’ve seen about an hour, and it already feels like way too much has happened and I barely know the characters, including Hitomi, whose purpose in life so far is to get dragged through time and space, freak out over visions she doesn’t understand, miss her mom, and continue to dream of getting kissed by a boy she likes.  What else is going on in her head?  No one knows…

And, while I’m complaining, what’s the deal with her gym bag?  Hitomi teleports to a magical alternate world, okay, I’m suspending my disbelief for that.  That’s why we’re watching Escaflowne.  But every time Hitomi teleports, and no matter where she left it… her gym bag joins her?  Mechs, cat-girls, floating fortresses, dragons, I’m rolling with all that because they’re unreal. But I know gym bags … and they’re not that helpful!

Screenshot from Escaflowne episode 3

First Norway Biking Day

Today would decide whether I could deal with the hills. I was depending on them to kick my metabolism into gear, but I didn’t know if my old-ass knees could handle so much pedaling with such a stupid amount of gear.

But first: A croissant!

Good spot for a mocha and some baked goods.
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Good spot for a mocha and some baked goods.

Chomped it right outside the place, standing in the sun.
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Chomped it right outside the place, standing in the sun.

I was reluctant to leave the downtown. It had a kind of quiet bustle that felt very Scandinavian, like a calmer version of the seaside town of Santa Cruz back home. But there was exploring to do!

Standard town scene in Kristiansand.
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Standard town scene in Kristiansand.

Interesting memorial.
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Interesting memorial.

Very conspiritorial!
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Very conspiritorial!

I went for the Eurovelo 1 route, which passed through the city. Immediately there was a problem: The main cycling tunnel under the highway was closed for construction. I had to pedal over a busy bridge instead. Was this a sign of things to come?

I assume the signs read “DON’T, STUPID!”
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I assume the signs read “DON’T, STUPID!”

On the edge of town I stopped to finish the croissant and the mocha I’d perched in the cupholder. I really like the cupholder. It’s an accessory and also a mission statement about the way I ride: Slowly enough that coffee never gets a chance to slosh out.

Lots of industry happening.
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Lots of industry happening.

Below me I could see some of the construction that had caused me trouble earlier. Looks like a new train tunnel.

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The first hill out of town was definitely steep, and there were more right after it. I had been expecting to enter dense forest as soon as the hills began, establishing a clear difference between Norway and the nearly forest-free Iceland coast I pedaled five years ago. Instead it was a patchwork, more like California. Summer in Norway equals winter in California, apparently — at least at sea level.

A few hills later I shot down into Langenes, a seaside town almost too small to have a name. All the properties by the water had this well-integrated look, like the residents had spent years – perhaps generations – thoughtfully building channels and stacking rocks to make use of the sea. I stopped a bunch of times to eat snacks and just look around, taking in the detail and working out the choices people had made over time.

I love the way this property is so integrated with the sea.
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I love the way this property is so integrated with the sea.

A fine day by the shore. Me and the birds agree.
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A fine day by the shore. Me and the birds agree.

EIther that rock face is enormous, or that house is very small…
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EIther that rock face is enormous, or that house is very small…

Aha, the house is very small!
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Aha, the house is very small!

A few kids on bikes rolled by in the opposite direction, and waved hello. A woman walking her dog stopped to mess with her phone, then said hello as she passed. Everyone was in a nice mood.

Lots of things to do in Sogne!
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Lots of things to do in Sogne!

I found a very weather-beaten kiosk that listed activities for visitors. It came with a map that showed an earlier, mostly accurate version of the Eurovelo 1 route. It was a good sign that the drivers around me would be expecting cyclists. It also reminded me I had many days of hill ahead, before the land would flatten somewhat and become farms for a while.

Along with the kiosk, I found quite a variety of road signs:

Farts demper… That how I refer to my trousers!
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Farts demper… That how I refer to my trousers!

Luckily the delay was long enough for a slow bicyclist to make it through!
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Luckily the delay was long enough for a slow bicyclist to make it through!

Whatever this sign says, I agree with it.
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Whatever this sign says, I agree with it.

Haven’t seen any in person yet, but I’m sure I will soon.
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Haven’t seen any in person yet, but I’m sure I will soon.

Haven’t seen one in this country yet, but there’s always a chance…
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Haven’t seen one in this country yet, but there’s always a chance…

Apparently people in Norway do the same target practice with roadsigns that we do back home…
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Apparently people in Norway do the same target practice with roadsigns that we do back home…

Back home this would be a “ghost bike” marking a highway death of a cyclist. Not sure what it means here.
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Back home this would be a “ghost bike” marking a highway death of a cyclist. Not sure what it means here.

I also began to see large amounts of cut firewood, organized in different ways. There were competing standards apparently. I knew Norwegians took their firewood seriously but it was amusing to see this fact playing out right along the side of the road.

Pretty serious about wood around here.
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Pretty serious about wood around here.

It was also a reminder that I was immersed in a culture that had different – and more consistent – standards about the respect of other people’s property. Back in the USA there were similar places, but they were mixed in with places where, if you left a pile of organized firewood out by the side of a public road with no signage, it would soon vanish into the beds of passing pickup trucks.

The takers might even conjure some kind of justification in their heads as they loaded it up, for example, “This must have been stacked here by the county utility after they cut down some tree that was too close to a power line. By grabbing some, I’m being helpful!”

Other things I passed:

Small chunks of farmed land with a single house and barn on them, looking suspiciously well organized, as though the owners were pursuing a lifestyle rather than a business.

Another burned-out property that appeared to be the victim of some heating device gone rogue.

Some very expensive looking boats, and a lot of boathouses built right onto the water. The tides didn’t move much in this region so the gaps could be small.

A particularly tidy barn.
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A particularly tidy barn.

Huh, another burned out house. Are people leaving their candles lit and falling asleep?
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Huh, another burned out house. Are people leaving their candles lit and falling asleep?

The Norwegians love their boathouses!
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The Norwegians love their boathouses!

Why put hooks in the ground when you can just use water?
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Why put hooks in the ground when you can just use water?

The combination of boats and manicured land reminded me of super-affluent regions in California. Over there, if you wanted a lifestyle like this, you first needed the land, which would probably cost you five or ten times more than here, and a similar amount in taxes in absolute terms. If you farmed it was very likely you were already wealthy, and farming for the hell of it — for example to make your own toy brand of wine.

There were of course serious farms in California – lots of them – but they tended to be inland, larger, and had a busier, slightly cluttered look, because the owners were constantly planting, repairing, harvesting, digging, fertilizing, et cetera.

Then again, I was probably reading too much into the distinction here, in economic terms. It’s likely that a small, manicured farm here is not just a lifestyle choice but is integrated enough with collective efforts in adjacent farms to make the profit margins worthwhile. It’s also likely I was seeing lots of small farms because there had been a country-wide movement to subdivide large ones, creating “cluster farms” run by individual families. The distribution of land ownership in California had taken a very different route.

(Fun fact: In terms of land area, Norway is only 10% smaller than California!)

Whooohoo bridge!
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Whooohoo bridge!

Pretty cool view to the north.
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Pretty cool view to the north.

After a particularly steep hill, I crossed a high bridge and descended into another small town. It was a long day of riding and I was running low on snacks. Eventually I turned to the bag of brazil nuts I’d carried all the way here from a Sacramento food co-op. Bland, but filling…

Down one hill, up another…
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Down one hill, up another…

Super cool shed, bro!
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Super cool shed, bro!

Having a wee snack on a wee hill.
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Having a wee snack on a wee hill.

Not sure what these little flowers are, but they’re pretty.
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Not sure what these little flowers are, but they’re pretty.

In the evening I reached the town of Mandal, and stopped just long enough to buy a massive pile of Thai food. The campground was in a forest on the west side.

It’s a self-serve operation here. Back home you exchange canisters and some company fills them up.
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It’s a self-serve operation here. Back home you exchange canisters and some company fills them up.

This time, if the tent started deflating in the middle of the night, I didn’t have nearby branches for attaching lines. All I could do was hope…

A smooth deployment of the overcomplicated campsite!
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A smooth deployment of the overcomplicated campsite!

It had been a long day with a lot of hills, but definitely a success. My legs had done well. No stiffness, just a general whole-body feeling of exhaustion, and the Thai food was helping with that.

Onward to the next day!

Escaflowne Corner, Episode 2

Lots of fantastical scenery, a couple more characters, and some choice mech sword-clashing.  It’s all such a 90’s anime time capsule.  Once again, Hitomi saves the day with premonitions and female rage. Looks like this is going to be a pattern.

Is Hitomi’s immaturity a calculated choice by writers to appeal to young boys … or a side effect of Japanese anime artists being ignorant about how women work in general, in the very buttoned-down and segregated culture of 90’s Japan?

Screenshot from Escaflowne ep 2

Repairs and Exploring Kristiansand

Slept pretty well. I wanted to just poke around the city all day, but first I had to take the tent apart and figure out why it didn’t hold air. With all my gear shoved to the corners of the room there was just enough space to test the thing.

Using the indoor space to test the tent again.
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Using the indoor space to test the tent again.

I pulled the 15-foot bladder out of the strut and patiently immersed sections of it in the sink, looking for bubbles that would show me a leak. I didn’t see any, but I did find a stowaway:

A stowaway from California! It would have caused trouble no doubt.
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A stowaway from California! It would have caused trouble no doubt.

Finally I saw something when I reached the very end: Air was slowly leaking from the valve itself. The soft plastic ring underneath the cap had scratches all over it, probably from me jabbing around the valve with a pair of pliers when I was putting the tent back together last time. I flipped the ring over, then tested the valve. No leak, as long as I didn’t over-tighten it.

It took a long time to get the bladder back in the strut, line it up, hook the layers back together, and re-inflate the tent. I left it standing in the middle of the room. If it was still fine when I came back in the evening, I was good to go.

Before setting out, I took another look at the map of the downtown. There’s a decommissioned building in the center of town that used to be … a prison!  It held 44 inmates.  It was shut down only six years ago when a larger one opened nearby. (As an aside, it’s hilarious that Wikipedia has a category page called Defunct prisons in Norway.)

A recent fire. This would be the beginning of a pattern I saw as I went around Norway.
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A recent fire. This would be the beginning of a pattern I saw as I went around Norway.

I didn’t go in… Though I probably should have!
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I didn’t go in… Though I probably should have!

The touristy fishy part of town.
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The touristy fishy part of town.

All kinds of fresh noms for sale!
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All kinds of fresh noms for sale!

Down near the coast I found a restaurant that promised fish stew and fish and chips. So I ordered both, and ate them very slowly, listening to the birds and the inscrutable conversations around me, and generally unwinding. It was the first time in three days that I wasn’t being, or about to be, a passenger on some transport.

It was pretty dang good soup! I ate it very slowly.
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It was pretty dang good soup! I ate it very slowly.

Pretty good fisk and kips, but I know there’s better out there…
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Pretty good fisk and kips, but I know there’s better out there…

Near me a large group of old Norwegian folks were arrayed on benches around an open space, all in their 70’s or 80’s, having a slow discussion about — something or other.  One guy had his beer set on my table, and didn’t bother to move it when I sat down. I didn’t mind of course. It was a little hint of that flexibility of personal space I saw in Iceland.

Time to check out the museumy part of the shore.
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Time to check out the museumy part of the shore.

After that I decided it was time to walk around and gaze at stuff, so I rode over to the Museum Of Art, where there was an exhibition of the portraiture of Edvard Munch.  I browsed through some nifty local kids art on the bottom floor, then put my stuff in a locker and got a ticket for the “real” museum upstairs.

Let’s see some portretter.
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Let’s see some portretter.

You check your stuff and get a key, instead of hauling it all over the museum.
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You check your stuff and get a key, instead of hauling it all over the museum.

Letter thievery!
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Letter thievery!

I think these were made by art students? Adorable.
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I think these were made by art students? Adorable.

More art student art.
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More art student art.

This one was especially striking to me.
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This one was especially striking to me.

Read about “Self Portrait By The Arbour, 1942” (English taken directly from sign.)

When German troops invaded Norway in 1940, Munch spurned all contact with the occupiers, retreating to his main residence at Ekely, where he lived up to his death from pneumonia in 1944. Here he became known as “the hermit of Ekely”, even though he continued to receive friends and selected guests on a regular basis.

In this late self-portrait, Munch presents himself featureless and alone, walking in the arbour beyond his winter studio, deep in contemplation. While the empty seat and bench accentuate his solitude, the glowing yellow shrub and view of the landscapes to the distant Oslofjord convey a feeling of oneness with the natural world.

I worked my way almost all around that floor when a typically adorable young Norwegian staff member came up and said the place would close in two minutes.

“Oh no!” I said.  “There’s so much more to see!”

“Well, you still have two minutes!” she said brightly.

After that, I cycled around looking for ice cream but the store I targeted was closed, and the next place was a really American-looking bulk candy shop, so I gave up. No evening treat for me! I still had leftover fish and chips from the restaurant so I certainly wouldn’t starve.

Back at the AirBnB the tent was still just as upright as before, which was fantastic news. I probably wouldn’t have had enough time to take it apart and look for another leak. I rolled it up and packed the large bags, getting as ready as possible for the next day.

Then I remembered: I had a leftover cookie from the bakery in Hirtshals! Mmmm. With no good reason to leave the AirBnB for the night, I realized it would be a good time to start an episode Vision Of Escaflowne, since I was actually in Norway as I’d planned.

That was kind of weird.  I’d first had the idea of re-watching this series at least five years ago, and made a note about it in my travel plans, but I couldn’t remember why.  The connection between the cartoon and Norway was tenuous:  The main character Hitomi reminded me of a woman I’d dated in college, and that woman was from a family that emigrated to the United States from Norway. Or had it been Sweden?

Ex-girlfriend connection or no, Vision Of Escaflowne is fantastical and dramatic – a story about a girl who blunders through a magic portal into a swords-and-sorcery otherworld – and the idea of watching it in a far-off place was appealing.  Norway would have lots of big spaces and I would be traveling it alone, putting me in an introspective mood, and I could watch the show and think about my angst-ridden college days as well.  Plus, the show was 20-something episodes, which would be just enough to make my way around the coast watching one episode per day.

After so many years of this plan drifting around in the back of my head, it felt very strange to actually be in the place where it could happen. Here I was in Norway, and it had only taken ten days of travel away from my “normal” life. Is this what I’d been picturing, years ago?  A little seaside town – chilly but not freezing – a grid of affluent streets at the end of a ferry port and a train terminal, a cramped and slightly rustic AirBnB room?  This massive pile of gear?

I really couldn’t remember. But I poured a glass of Norway water and set the cookie on a napkin, put on headphones, and watched the first episode.

Here begins Escaflowne Corner, where I write whatever thoughts I have about the day’s episode. This is definitely of no interest to anyone but me, so it’s in a disclosure section:

Escaflowne Corner, Episode 1

The world of the show is interestingly small: There are only four characters with faces, and we say goodbye to two of them in this first episode. We don’t see any other school students or staff, no other people on the street, and even Hitomi’s parents are only heard in voice-over.

I forgot how unashamed the animators are of showing Hitomi in Japanese-flavor “upskirt” camera angles.  When she’s on the starting blocks for example, the camera is aimed right up her ass. What’s funny is, there is some justification for the angle: We see how coiled up she is, poised to spring, and sense her focus and dedication to the sport. But a modern director would find a way to convey that without putting the camera in the exact spot a teenage boy would want to stick his face, saving Hitomi her dignity. They would lean away from the fanservice instead of almost literally into it.

Generally, Hitomi is portrayed as empty-headed.  Her biggest concerns are getting a kiss from her crush, and improving her running speed.  Perhaps this is the norm for a – what – 16 year old?  I don’t know if she’ll grow in later episodes, but so far she’s only special because of some innate magical power that’s vaguely associated with her femaleness:  She feels sick, then she has a premonition, and that compels her to act in some way that looks quite irrational to observers, like a sailor-suit wearing Oracle of Delphi.

I admit that one of the ways she reminds me of my college girlfriend is, she too would sometimes get very upset over some inner thought and have an emotional breakdown, and I was drawn to – could relate to – the emotional intensity of it all. 25 years later I am still sometimes drawn to that sort of dysfunction. Huh; I wonder what that says about me…

Ferry To Kristiansand

My emergency twig supports did their job. As I struck camp I made plans to spend some of the next day taking the tent apart to find the leak and patch it. I was grateful I’d remembered to bring patches…

Somehow the tent stayed up all night, so I didn’t have to.
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Somehow the tent stayed up all night, so I didn’t have to.

Packed back on the bike, for now…
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Packed back on the bike, for now…

I made my way into town, intent on breakfast — several breakfasts, if possible. It was so far before the tourist season that most of the restaurants were closed.

Subtle, but effective lions.
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Subtle, but effective lions.

I swear, I’ve seen this exact statue all over the Western world.
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I swear, I’ve seen this exact statue all over the Western world.

Locals call it “ol’ sparkly” (This has not been fact-checked.)
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Locals call it “ol’ sparkly” (This has not been fact-checked.)

I watched the traffic, and turned down whichever street had more cars on it. I found one open bakery and loaded up on rolls and sandwiches.

Lots of bread, but still a pretty good breakfast sando.
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Lots of bread, but still a pretty good breakfast sando.

The next ferry to Kristiansand was in two hours. There wasn’t much to do in town so I decided to just roll down to the terminal and hang out; maybe sort photos or listen to an audiobook. The route took me past a large building that my map identified as the Nordsøen Oceanarium. I didn’t have enough time to look around inside, but the music they had playing near the entrance was so boisterous and charming that I just had to get a recording on my phone.

Nordsøen Oceanarium Welcome Song

I have no idea what the lyrics are, but I imagine it’s some jolly story about swimming in the ocean with mermaids and fish!

Gee I think I showed up a bit early.
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Gee I think I showed up a bit early.

In line waiting to be assigned a place in line…
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In line waiting to be assigned a place in line…

I pedaled on, and found the ferry terminal. I parked the bike in the lee of the nearest gatehouse and assembled my portable camping chair, then opened the lappy to sort photos.  With the wind factored out, the sun warmed up my jacket and pants and I felt surprisingly comfortable.  So much so that an hour flew by, and the next time I looked up the line of cars was moving.  I repacked the chair and joined the line.

In the second line, after all the cyclists and motorcyclists were clustered together, one of the motorcyclists moseyed over to me for a conversation, starting with my weird bicycle and then ranging around.  A friendly fellow, probably about 60 years old, with blond hair and a squint. I asked where he was from.

“A little island near the middle of Denmark.”

I was intrigued. He looked a lot like my uncle Denny and I guessed we were probably related somewhere five or six generations back. He had a tough-looking motorbike kitted with sturdy metal boxes full of gear, and a bedroll lashed across them.

I asked, “Coming up to Norway for a vacation?”

“Oh yes,” he said.  “I’ve done this trip lots.  For me it’s only three hours or so on the bike, and I get to the ferry.  Very easy to go.  There’s lots to see in Norway, and the roads are good, and there is almost no traffic outside the main cities like Oslo and Bergen.”

“Sounds great!” I said.

“Yes, you’ll like it!  Except for the tunnels.  Some of them you can go through on a bicycle, but if you do, it’s dark and very cold, and they can be very long.  Many of them have bypass roads.  Everyone in a car uses the tunnel, so they don’t need the bypass roads.  So they’ve been making the bypass roads bicycle only.  It’s great.  You’ll like those.”

“Definitely.”

“What’s your route?” he asked.

We hunkered over my phone and I gave him a rough outline. I said, “I’ll stay on the coast for a while, but I want to go inland later.  Is it going to be cold?”

He shrugged. “If you go in May, not too cold.  The snow is already gone from the coast.  You’ll find some when the elevation goes up, but the roads will be good.  Sometimes you get five, seven meters of snow, and the roads are like tunnels.”

“Five or seven meters?” I was agog. I’d been along plowed roads where the snow was like a wall, as much as ten feet high, but he was talking about twice that.

“April is really still winter, outdoor-wise,” he said. “Ski-resorts like Hemsedal and Geilo have open lifts and trails in April, but at the same time, the spring flowers are blooming down in Oslo and Bergen. The mountain roads will be open, but the daytime temperature there might be 0 to 10 degrees, even if the weather is sunny.”

I assumed he meant 0 to 10 degrees in Celsius. Converting temperature in my head was going to be a challenge for the next few months.

Around us the cars were starting their engines, and the other bikers were putting their helmets on. I thanked him for the advice and we wished each other well.

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I was the only cyclist on the entire ferry. I wasn’t surprised.

The one bicycle on the boat, lashed to the railing.
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The one bicycle on the boat, lashed to the railing.

Many cars … and me
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Many cars … and me

Passing the lighthouse…
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Passing the lighthouse…

There’s a city out there…
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There’s a city out there…

After we parked, all the passengers gathered at tables in a large room upstairs. A very suave-sounding captain spoke over the P.A. and said we should take advantage of the executive lounge, where we could get as many snacks as we wanted after paying an upgrade fee. He didn’t say what the fee was, so I assumed it was too much.

One of the youngest staff on the boat was a woman who looked in her early 20’s.  She spent part of the voyage walking around with a large basket of small snacks, offering things to patrons, and the rest of the time with a box slung over one shoulder, going table to table and selling ice cream bars.  I couldn’t help thinking this role was a holdover from before the boat had a coffee bar and full-on dining service, and it was kept around for nostalgia purposes.  A strangely menial job for someone that age, but on the other hand, perhaps I’m bad at judging age here, or perhaps the job pays better than I expect, or perhaps it’s not her full-time role and they swap around each day.  

The woman had golden hair cut boyishly short and a strong jawline, and reminded me a lot of a girl I’d had a crush on all the way back in the 5th grade.  Weird how these memories stick.  It made me want to flirt with her, which would have been deeply inappropriate for a lot of reasons, mostly because I’m more than old enough to be her father.

During the trip, the televisions that hung from arms in the ceiling all around the room displayed a repeating loop of perfume ads: Toned women and men in wacky clothing, posing in unearthly environments, splashing in water or fake lava, all with expressions on their faces between “I’m about to fall asleep” and “someone just cut in front of me in line for the bathroom.” It took me most of the journey to figure out why: The on-board market was crammed with different kinds of perfume for sale. Why that? Because perfume is very expensive for the weight, not an essential good (so it’s not likely to be stolen), and it never spoils. Perfect for a store in a location as awkward as a boat.

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When it was time to leave, I rode casually to the front of the line inside the boat, and the crew waved me over to a position next to the lead car. I could tell the cars were full of impatient tourists because they were scooting pointlessly close together, as if their lives depended on keeping their neighbors from cutting in when the lines converged. The Norwegian drivers would be more considerate, no doubt.

The guard at the exit gate to the terminal asked me a bunch of questions about where I was going and how.  He seemed surprised that I’d brought the bike from America.  “Yeah, I took it apart and put it in a giant box, and brought it with me!” I said.

He made an incredulous expression, as if he was thinking “What will these lunatic cyclists do next?” But then he waved me through with a “Have a nice trip!”

I had arrived in Kristiansand. The downtown grid of streets was lively but mostly full of souvenir and clothing stores. I wanted a restaurant! I found my AirBnB on the other side of town and hauled the bags inside, then set out again.

As I rode away, I noticed three “rough gentlemen” in their 40’s or 50’s going in the other direction. Two were pushing beat-up bikes; one was coughing deeply.  Their clothing, posture, grooming, and general furtiveness implied to me that they were destitute and not welcome in the city.  I thought Norway didn’t have any so-called homeless people?  I realized I had to recalibrate my perceptions here. Maybe these men were just very tired dockworkers who’d been kicked out of a bar for partying too hard on a Monday? I’d been assuming that Norway was like Iceland, and had virtually zero crime.

Here’s a spoiler for you: For the next month, I would never feel the need to use my bike lock, with only four exceptions: Once in Stavanger, once in Haugesund, once in Bergen, and once in Oslo — not coincidentally the four largest cities I found myself in. Other than that, I just didn’t bother with the lock, and unless there was a hotel room I could walk the bike into, I would just leave it outside, leaning on the kickstand, bags and all.

Preconception of Norway

Before I visited or even did any research on Norway, I added it to my map of the gaps. This is what was in my head about the country, from pop culture or hearsay or dimly remembered school. (Of course, actually going there will change this a lot.)

Norway is up at the top of Europe.  I think it’s that big banana-shaped one.  The capitol is Oslo but I only know that from playing Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego, and according to that game it has three buildings:  A market, a library, and an airport.

I know about Vikings, and I guess there were a bunch of them in Norway. It stands to reason because there’s so much coastline. On the other hand, most of what I know about Vikings is hopelessly tangled with maps and lore from the computer game Skyrim.

There’s lots of gorgeous fjords and spacious glaciers around, and everybody talks in a sing-songy voice and says “ya” randomly in conversations.  It’s a nice place to live if you don’t mind the cold, ya.

If you don’t like hiking and skiing and you’re not a conservationist, what the hell are you doing in Norway?  Get out before we throw you out, weirdo.  Ya.