Adieu to the city

“Come, here is adieu to the city
And hurrah for the country again.
The broad road lies before me
Watered with last night’s rain.
The timbered country woos me
With many a high and bough;
And again in the shining fallows
The ploughman follows the plough.”

Robert Louis Stevenson

Hamburg To Hirtshals

I woke up an hour early.  Decent sleep, mostly due to the quiet of the room

I kitted up the bike and wrestled it down the four sets of stairs to the ground floor.  As I was donning gear outside a grizzled cop across the street stared at me, then began ambling across to talk to me, then apparently changed his mind and turned around and went back to his police van.  I couldn’t read his intent, but perhaps he saw my own body language and realized he was making me nervous, and would just make me more nervous if he started asking me questions.

Good morning, local monument!
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Good morning, local monument!

Surveying the surveyor.
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Surveying the surveyor.

When the roadwork is done, the stones will go right back in place.
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When the roadwork is done, the stones will go right back in place.

Hmm, I wonder if we’re in Germany…
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Hmm, I wonder if we’re in Germany…

It was so early that the city felt empty. Most of the stores were still closed. I meandered my way towards the train station and stopped at a random bakery for coffee and a bunch of breakfast snacks.

First stop of the day!
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First stop of the day!

I had this feeling like I couldn’t quite relax until I knew exactly where the train was, so I packed the snacks onto the bike. The big screen at the station showed the same platform as yesterday. I took the elevator down and located one of the little screens, and saw this:

A tricky diagram for a complicated station.
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A tricky diagram for a complicated station.

Two interesting things here. First, the train in front of me would split in half when it left, with one half going to Flensburg and the other going to Kiel. Good to know; it would suck to get on the wrong half!

And second, the train in front of me was going to the place I wanted, but leaving in a few minutes instead of an hour. I decided to just board the earlier train instead of standing around.  If the conductor called me on it, I’d just pretend to be an ignorant tourist!

Sometimes the bike needs coffee too!
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Sometimes the bike needs coffee too!

Tethered in place for a little more safety.
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Tethered in place for a little more safety.

The train map on the train.
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The train map on the train.

The train map on a standard map.
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The train map on a standard map.

Some pleasant train companions.
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Some pleasant train companions.

The conductor who checked my ticket seemed fine with it. When he recognized my accent, he asked which state I was from. When I told him California, he mentioned Gavin Newsom, and said he had been touring through Europe giving talks. I was not aware of that, and told him.

He changed the subject, and in halting English, tried to express his thoughts about the recently started Iran war. I responded slowly, trying to keep my own words simple.

Conductor

I think some countries, they are not suited to democracy like us. Maybe dictatorship works better for them.

Me

Well, I see it this way. I think in Iran, there is a certain kind of land: Most of it is desert, and very hard to live on. Not very profitable. And then some of it, is oil fields. Those pieces of land are very, very profitable, as long as someone tightly controls them. So the land itself makes a situation where it’s easy for a dictatorship to keep control. Just grab the oil fields and hold onto them, and then start passing out money to the people in the desert. Enough to keep them happy, so they don’t try and take over.

My hope is that the people of Iran will get enough economic power to fight their own government. But the government has done another thing: It also controls the religion. If the people are upset, they just say, “It’s your religious enemies that are causing all your problems. The Jews, the Christians. They want your government to change because they want to destroy your religion.”

That’s a very hard position get out of. I think the people would accept democracy but they have to separate religion from government. And I think what’s really making it hard for them is the land.

Conductor

But why drop bombs on them? It’s just a waste. It’s hurting all of us.

Me

I agree with you. It’s a waste. Trump thought the Iranians were going to rise up. He’s an idiot. All the people who tried to rise up, got murdered by the government months ago. He’s trying to make the regime surrender, but for them it’s a holy war. They won’t stop until they’re dead. In the meantime we waste all this money and time. It’s stupid.

Conductor

If I was an American, I’d be a Democrat.

Me

Good!

Conductor

JD Vance will probably run for president next.

Me

Probably, but he’s no Trump. I think he’ll lose.

Conductor

I heard Kamala might try running again.

Me

Yeah, I’m worried about that too. She lost once already. She might be less popular to Democrats than JD Vance is to Republicans…

Conductor

If Newsom runs, I would vote for him. But he has a lot of repairing to do of the relationship between the US and Europe. Lots.

Me

Definitely. He’ll get my vote.

He smiled wished me a great trip, and moved to the next passenger. A nice bit of bonding over our shared frustration. Yesterday I was a Good Samaritan, today I am apparently an ambassador. What a world!

The train ride was uneventful. I arrived at the transfer station with over two hours to spare and there was no earlier connection I could catch, so I got a snack and wandered around.

Loving this brickwork.
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Loving this brickwork.

I just saw Kevin Kline in this a week ago!
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I just saw Kevin Kline in this a week ago!

So that’s where “ersatz” came from…
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So that’s where “ersatz” came from…

Not a poster you would see in the Netherlands.
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Not a poster you would see in the Netherlands.

Same stuff as back home, really.
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Same stuff as back home, really.

I’ll never understand this. How do German parents not find this extremely problematic?
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I’ll never understand this. How do German parents not find this extremely problematic?

Somewhere into the second hour I got a phone message the train from Hamburg had been delayed for nearly an hour. The other train bound for Denmark would not be waiting for it.

Delayed train notification

If I hadn’t skipped onto the earlier train this morning, I would have lost an entire day!

A wee glass enclosure to cope with the wind.
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A wee glass enclosure to cope with the wind.

Dang, some of these trains are crowded.
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Dang, some of these trains are crowded.

We’re underway again!
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We’re underway again!

Have bike, will travel…
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Have bike, will travel…

The transfer at Fredericia was nerve-wracking. The computer-generated schedule gave me five minutes to find another train on a different platform, and my train was two minutes late. Luckily I was bracing for this. I looked up the destination platform in advance and got the bike planted right in front of the doors. When they opened I heaved the bike down and ran for the elevator. Up, then quickly across to the other platform, then down… I managed to haul the bike onto the next train 15 seconds before the doors closed. Come on, Danes, you can do better than this.

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The transfer at Aarhus was worse: The train was eight minutes late. People all around me were grumbling in Danish and German about missing their connection. The conductor made an announcement of some kind but it was only in Danish, and the grumbling got louder.

When I got the bike out, I saw a stream of people jogging up the platform towards some other train. Had the conductor found them an alternate? I fell in line and jogged with them, trying not to jab anyone in the ass with the cranks on the recumbent. A minute later they all compressed into a confused horde at the foot of the stairs. Most of them were gazing up at a display with a schedule on it. A lot of arrival times were flashing. The rest of them were looking at their phones and frowning. No easy answers for us.

I used the phone to conjure a new schedule, bound for Hirtshals, and located what was probably the first train in the series on a different platform. Lots of people were swapping platforms around me, looking confused. I didn’t want to trust what the displays were saying but I had no choice.

An hour later I boarded a train, and it was headed in the right direction – north instead of south – so I counted it as a win. If the train matched my phone, I had several more transfers to make…

Getting late in the day…
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Getting late in the day…

As I continued north the trains got smaller and smaller. The connection to Hirtshals was just two cars. I felt the trappings of the modern transport system falling away … or perhaps a sense of distance creeping in; a sense of deeper language barriers and differences in custom. I was headed for colder and higher land with a lower sun. The environment was rapidly changing away from what felt like home in California.

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When I finally stepped off the last train I paused and made a list of all the stations where I’d transferred:

  • Hamburg
  • Flensburg
  • Kolding
  • Fredericia
  • Aarhus
  • Aalborg
  • Hjorring
  • Hirtshals

That’s kind of crazy.

After 13 hours, I made it!
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After 13 hours, I made it!

Art near the train station.
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Art near the train station.

This anchor a-weighs a lot.
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This anchor a-weighs a lot.

Can’t have a port town in Denmark without a little mermaid hangin’ out.
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Can’t have a port town in Denmark without a little mermaid hangin’ out.

“I can see my house from here!” (i.e. the sea)
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“I can see my house from here!” (i.e. the sea)

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Amsterdam To Hamburg

Zach and Michael were going to be moving house before I saw them again, so this was probably the last time I would ever explore this part of the Netherlands, which was fine; it was pleasant but not remarkable. I was ahead of schedule so I got coffee and rolled towards Amsterdam even slower than usual, admiring the flowers and reading the plaques on the monuments and so forth. I also checked through my mental list of bike gear. If there was any unique hardware or clothing I needed, it would be good to buy it in the next few days before I was stuck on the Norway coast.

Pieter de Monchy (1916) Turftrapster (1979) Tussen de 16de en 19de eeuw vond turfwinning plaats in Amstelveen. Het turftrappen was in die tijd een belangrijke bron van inkomsten. Dit bronzen beeld is aan het Oude Dorp geschonken door de Rabobank en stond oorspronkelijk aan de Amsterdamseweg.
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Pieter de Monchy (1916) Turftrapster (1979) Tussen de 16de en 19de eeuw vond turfwinning plaats in Amstelveen. Het turftrappen was in die tijd een belangrijke bron van inkomsten. Dit bronzen beeld is aan het Oude Dorp geschonken door de Rabobank en stond oorspronkelijk aan de Amsterdamseweg.

The ticket for the German train I was boarding had a platform number on it. I had a new appreciation for that after dealing with the French train system, which refused to provide a number until a few minutes before departure. I’d scoped out the platform already, so all I had to do was check the big schedule board at the station to make sure it hadn’t been changed. At the platform, the letters along the track guided me to the spot where the bicycle car would pull up. The car had plenty of room. So far, so good…

Bike hangin’ with bikes.
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Bike hangin’ with bikes.

While I was standing around on the train I got a message from the hotel in Hamburg. They’d cancelled my room because of “water damage” – probably they overbooked or something – and issued me a refund before I could do any negotiation. All the hotels near the city center were booked, so I switched to AirBnB and found a room a few miles from the station. It cost $40 more but I counted myself lucky.

As I put my phone away I also counted myself lucky just to be living in an age where this sort of maneuver was possible. I’d found a random private citizen in a different country who was willing to put me up for a night, six hours before I was due to arrive… And I had no trouble with the language barrier or the currency conversion… And I’d done it in 15 minutes, while on a moving train!

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It was a triumph of the computer and data industry that I spent my youth exploring. I felt glad to be experiencing it. Then I remembered more recent developments, and how that sense of gratitude was getting mixed with a sense of dread.

I asked myself, “What’s the next logical step in this situation?” And it was clear: In a few years, the devices in our hands would act on our behalf. As soon as the cancellation message arrived, my phone would start pinging other services – Expedia, AirBnB, Kayak, etc – compiling me a list of options for alternate places to stay that fit the criteria of my schedule: Close to the station, close to the same price, same day, late arrival time, no stairs to navigate on a bike… I wouldn’t need to tell it; it would know all this from context. So when I opened the phone, I would just pick something from a list and it would do the booking for me. Time saved; convenience added. What’s not to like?

Well, here’s what’s not to like: Young people who don’t know how to navigate the world will start asking the thing, “What should I do?”

Just like search engines now, the device will give them a useful answer that also happens to steer them towards services that are paying the most advertising dollars, which is certainly a nuisance. But there’s something about this anticipatory, guiding mechanism that opens a door to something worse, because “what should I do” is not a purely logistical question. Behind every instance of “what” is an instance of “why.” Why do you want to do a particular thing?

If you’re a young person, then hopefully you’re making a conscious decision based on some advice from people who care about you. In days of yore, if you were a kid and you wanted to do something, you had to figure out how, and that meant something like:

  • Ask your family,
  • Ask your friends,
  • Ask a teacher,
  • Poke through library books,
  • Mail-order some specialty manual,

So unless you worked pretty hard to conceal it, your community got wind of what you were pursuing and had some chance to give you input. Having and interacting with human family, and friends, and teachers, and librarians has generally been the way people thrive — and barring that, the way people learn from each other how to participate in the world, and how to think in general. But now that’s optional. You don’t need to ask your family, or friends, or teachers, or go to some place where librarians have exercised editorial control.

Sweep all that in the trash. Replace it with an obsequious corporate-owned AI agent that you always need to keep inches from your body in order to do basic things like buy a sandwich and unlock your car. Family, friends, and community are now mediated by the agent, if you choose to involve them at all, because processing everything they say to you is part of the “training” that makes the agent so good at anticipating your demands. If you ask – or perhaps even if you don’t – the agent will compose messages to your friends and send them on your behalf. It will tell you it’s being helpful, and at first you’ll agree.

You’ll go from using it to learn, to using it to decide and execute, to having it learn, decide, and execute on your behalf, and your relationships with Apple, Google, and Meta will become more central to your choices and your actions than your relationships with your own parents, friends, co-workers … wives, children … Those companies will know exactly who you are, and the people around you will know less and less.

In due time, like the worst switcheroo magic trick in the world, the device will become essential, and the friends and family will become completely optional, and will start to disappear.

The default version of a person will become an animal in a glass box, wallpapered with whatever ideas a company has been paid the most – or even worse, ordered by a government – to display. Rubber-stamp those individuals out, creating tower blocks of little glass aquariums, filling a city; a country. It won’t be universal and it obviously won’t be ideal, but it will be efficient. And that will make it the new baseline for human society. If you’re lucky you have some kind of life outside the glass box. If you’re not… Well, I don’t know. You’ll probably be entertained and fed, but I don’t think I’ll be able to recognize you as a real human being any more. The social gap will be too much for me to cross.

Sometimes I think I’m living at the tail end of a golden age of humanity. Millions of people are being lifted out of poverty all over the world by better economic networks and medical and farming technology, but at the same time, millions on the other end are also climbing into glass boxes. I get to live somewhere in the middle, for however long it lasts.

But standing on the train this afternoon, I realized that my train of thought doesn’t actually just end in darkness. There’s something else going on at the same time, with the same technology – language models and generative art – that makes me paradoxically optimistic.

Human beings thrive when they spend time face-to-face, interacting in the real physical world, touching hands, breathing the same air, and looking each other in the eye. … And they know it, even if it’s just subconsciously.

Combine that with the fast approaching situation where, “thanks” to generative art tools, we will soon not be able to consider anything we see on a phone screen – especially on social media – to be the truth, and we will collectively be forced to recognize the infinite capacity these devices have to manipulate us, and begin to distance ourselves from them. We’ll see the glass box for the prison it is, and instead of arguing over the content of the wallpaper – which is what social media is all about – we will actually have to climb out of the stupid box, touch hands with the people around us, and learn how to live some kind of life without mediation. Again.

COVID-19 compelled us to socially distance from other people to stay healthy. In due time we will all understand the need to socially distance ourselves from the internet for the same reason.

“That’s my new bumper sticker,” I thought.

Still in a thoughtful mood, I arrived at my first transfer. I shoved the bike onto the platform with no trouble.

I think I exited at the right station…?
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I think I exited at the right station…?

There was enough time to visit a bakery next to the train station and buy a chocolate covered croissant and a weird sauerkraut-and-cheese sandwich.

Ya want pretzels? We got pretzels. Grab a shovel.
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Ya want pretzels? We got pretzels. Grab a shovel.

Chocolate and croissants, combined a new way!
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Chocolate and croissants, combined a new way!

I decided to wait in style, and put my folding chair together.

If you’re gonna wait for a train, wait in style.
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If you’re gonna wait for a train, wait in style.

A couple of curious Germans commented on the bike. In general I was getting more actual attention from Germans than I got from people in the Netherlands. There’s an interesting tug-of-war, on either side of the border, between the politeness of minding one’s business, and the friendliness of starting a conversation.

Other things that are immediately different: People here wear t-shirts and hoodies; even the old grandmother types.  The young people don’t just dress like miniature adults.  And lots more smokers, of all ages. Germany has kind of a problem with smoking.

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Seems to me, the trains that don’t stop at the station blow through a little too fast…

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I had to ride two trains to get to Hamburg, and I’d bought the tickets separately, in order to make a really big gap between the first and second train. If I’d purchased it as one trip the software would have given me something like five minutes to move my bike through the station. No thanks. So instead I had about 90 minutes to wait. I’d rather wait than be late!

I feel like this guy sometimes.
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I feel like this guy sometimes.

Meeting of the morphs?
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Meeting of the morphs?

After a while I got bored of sitting and packed the chair up, and began to wander the platform. There were only two other people waiting: A flinty-eyed old man coming from an airport, and a mysterious woman with a butch haircut and some really hot plaid pants.

Two cool people.
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Two cool people.

If I felt confident enough to wear pants like that, I’d wear them all the time. Maybe even on bike trips.

We all boarded the same train, bound for Hamburg. The pretty German countryside flew by.

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I settled into my assigned seat. The couple across from me got up to visit the dining car. A woman walked over and asked about the empty seats, and I told her I didn’t know when the occupants would return, or whether the seats were reserved. She said she was looking for a spot where her grandmother could sit down, and nodded over to an old woman with a walking stick. I stood up and gave her my seat, and wandered back through the sliding doors to the bicycle storage car.

Back there I hung out next to a German couple who were hunkered down in a stairwell. I guessed neither of them had reserved seats. The woman had a limp, exhausted posture, and was dressed in army fatigues and heavy boots, and had a duffel bag resting nearby. I overheard some of their conversation: She just finished a grueling month of training and wanted to fall right into bed when she got home, and sleep for days. The two of them looked pretty intimate so I assumed there would be at least a little boning first… Well, I hoped so.

As I was standing there, an older man wearing a suit walked through the sliding doors. He was moving very shakily, gripping the rails along the wall. I figured he was suffering from some advanced disease affecting his nervous system. Why hadn’t someone given him a seat? He stood near me for a while, then decided standing was too hard, and lowered himself very slowly to the floor, nearly falling over. The undignified position clashed with the tailored cut of his grey suit and trimmed white beard.

A few minutes later, the woman with the grandmother came into the car and leaned against a bike rack. She tried to chat with the man in the suit, starting with, “English? German?” but he shook his head, and spoke in Italian. She didn’t know Italian but they managed to trade a few sentences in his really basic English. The man was from Italy, trying to get to Denmark where he had family waiting for him. That was all she could learn.

I liked her. She was trying to liven up the trip with some connection. She turned to another man who was tinkering with his bicycle nearby: “English? German?” He replied in English, but she keyed into his accent and replied in Spanish. He grinned. They had a nice chat about his job and life in Chile, where he was from. He got his bike down from the hook and put his bags on it, getting ready to leave.

The man on the floor checked his watch and suddenly started flailing his arms at the rail, trying to pull himself upright. It was going to be very hard. The woman saw him and looked concerned but the man with the bike was in the way. I’d had practice getting heavy men to their feet from taking care of my Dad, so I walked over and stood very close to him – practically over him – and opened a hand and held it down. The man immediately grabbed it, and I pulled him up enough to hook my other hand behind his arm at the shoulder and haul him upright. Then I moved his hand to the railing.

“Thank,” he said, and worked his way around to the exit doors as the train pulled to a halt.

The woman in the fatigues grabbed her duffel bag and disembarked with her boyfriend. At the same time, two much older ladies in cycling pants entered from the adjacent car and began prepping their bikes. The bikes were motorized and quite heavy, so I helped them get lined up by the door. The next stop arrived quickly. “Danke, danke!” they said as I helped lift their bikes to the platform.

I realized I was getting a nice little example of life without electronic mediation. All these little interactions made me feel way better than a couple hours of staring at memes on a phone.

(Note for the future: The fictionalized hamster adaptation of this day will be titled “Hambone’s Courteous Journey”, and will feature a ruggedized hamster ball on a bike path with Hambone trotting briskly inside.)

The Hamburg train station was like I remembered: Very big, and efficiently but weirdly organized.

Same station, same tempting chocolate banners.
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Same station, same tempting chocolate banners.

Oh yeah? Well you’re a leccrobag too!
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Oh yeah? Well you’re a leccrobag too!

The first thing I did was buy another sandwich. I had some currency left from my trip three years ago — a bunch of 1 and 2-euro coins. While I was counting those out, a young man in shabby clothing wandered over to me with a dazed half-smile on his face and asked me for money in German. I was in the middle of making a transaction so I ignored him, but he got closer and closer until he was breathing in my face, holding his open hand up under his chin. I resisted the urge to shove him to the ground and finished paying.

Then I pressed a 1-euro coin into his hand and told him, “that’s a little too close, man.” He about-faced and disappeared. At least he knew not to ask for more.

Another stark difference between Germany and the Netherlands. Germany has a churning, roiling economy – one of the strongest in the world – much more willing to take in immigrants but also just as willing to exploit them. About a quarter of the current population of Germany either immigrated themselves, or are children of two immigrants. The Netherlands is more socially coherent and manicured, but their walls keep out more than just water: They keep out the riff-raff.

The news these days is all bad.
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The news these days is all bad.

It was pretty late in the day, and I was feeling a bit tired from the constant motion. I headed directly for the AirBnB room.

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When I got there I found several sets of stairs. Blarg!

Look how much I love stairs!
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Look how much I love stairs!

This is how you get your AirBnB keys, most of the time.
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This is how you get your AirBnB keys, most of the time.

The AirBnB turned out to be a sort of dorm arrangement. A long, dank looking hallway of rooms, with one common bathroom and food prep area. You could call it “Bed And Make Your Own Breakfast”.

Pretty dark, but I guess that’s by design.
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Pretty dark, but I guess that’s by design.

Oh look, the luggage exploded again.
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Oh look, the luggage exploded again.

I ate snacks from my saddlebags and did some chatting with folks at home, then crashed onto the bed. Tomorrow would be another very long travel day.

Watching Yoshi

Today actually looked like a normal night of sleep. Huzzah!

Starting to approximate normal.
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Starting to approximate normal.

Zach and Michael needed to run an errand that would take all day, so I would be staying home with little Yoshi. I did a bakery run before they left.

A countdown timer you don’t even need to know numbers for!
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A countdown timer you don’t even need to know numbers for!

The second one I tried had a coffee menu, so I rolled the dice and got a mocha. It was a solid 6. Better than the average!

I give this one a solid 5 out of 10. They really tried for the standard, and they nailed it.
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I give this one a solid 5 out of 10. They really tried for the standard, and they nailed it.

I shouldn’t be surprised it fits… Global standards are a thing.
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I shouldn’t be surprised it fits… Global standards are a thing.

I had everything I needed for a quiet day with a cute dog.

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Watching Yoshi was a pleasure. I sorted photos and did some bookkeeping, then we just dozed together on the couch for a while. When the lads got back we ordered some amazing Indian food from a place right around the corner, and chatted about old iPod hardware and how our relationship with music has changed over the years. Excellent friend time! I promised to bring them some audio hardware the next time I flew over from the US.

It was a nice social end to my brief time in Amsterdam. I was mostly over the jet-lag, and ready for a more ambitious biking journey. Tomorrow I would board a train for Norway.

Bridges and Broodjes

I woke up later than usual, and Zach suggested we ride up towards the city to try out a café he was interested in. I’m always up for baked goods!

But first, Yoshi needed snacks:

The dog and his employees.
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The dog and his employees.

Zach said he had a favorite bike route for the first couple of miles, and then we’d just wing it. I followed his lead.

Followin’ Zog to lunch.
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Followin’ Zog to lunch.

Along the way we passed many people, and none of them reacted to the recumbent. Overall I’d noticed a strange lack of curiosity in the Dutch about this bicycle, even though it was obviously very rare. In all my riding so far in this bike-obsessed nation I hadn’t seen a single other recumbent, long or short or tricycle-shaped.

While Zach and I waited at a corner, one child – maybe about eight years old – stared and pointed at the recumbent and said “Woaa!” Eureka!

I was so surprised I told Zach. “Amazing!” I said. “One single child has not had all the desire to publicly express curiosity squeezed out of them!”

Zach: “Sometimes, one is enough.”

We laughed and cycled on.

Ten minutes later as we were crossing a bridge, I saw a guy sitting on his recumbent tricycle. Another milestone! There is at least one other recumbent rider in this city!

Soon we reached Layers Bakery & Deli.

The gallery of goodness.
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The gallery of goodness.

The menu was nicely eccentric, and everything we got was brain-meltingly good.

Bergamot Log. Daaaaannnnggg.
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Bergamot Log. Daaaaannnnggg.

Croissant breakfast sando… AMAZING.
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Croissant breakfast sando… AMAZING.

Zach and I ate and chatted. I fawned over the pastries. I was expecting food to be good in the Netherlands but this bakery raised the bar.

“Do you think all the ingredients are local?” I asked.

Zach nodded. “Of course. The Netherlands grows a lot of food. A lot. The country is actually one of the largest exporters of food in the world. It’s like, third after the entire US and China or something.”

“What, really?” I said. “This little place?”

“I know; it’s kind of hard to believe. But the internet doesn’t lie, am I right?” He laughed.

Later in the evening I couldn’t help digging into this, and Zach was right. The Netherlands is a massive exporter of food, especially dairy products. One might be inclined to say “so what?” because if the country is relatively small, it must have a relatively small population to feed, leaving more production available for export. In the USA for example there are some massively productive states, but they feed the population in the less productive ones, driving down the international export numbers. But what’s amazing is, the Netherlands is actually massively productive in absolute numbers, not just relative consumption.

To get some perspective on this as an American, I dug up some recent statistics comparing the Netherlands to what we Americans consider a super-productive dairy-focused (and similarly flat) state, Wisconsin.

Various Wisconsin/Netherlands dairy stats

Land area:

  • Wisconsin: 169,640 km²
  • Netherlands: 41,865 km².  (Also father north, but warmer on average.)

Cheese:

  • In 2025, The Netherlands produced about 946,800,000 kg of cheese.
  • In 2025, Wisconsin produced 1,650,000,000 kg of cheese (25% of all cheese in the US)

Butter:

  • In 2025, The Netherlands produced about 108,252,000 kg of butter.
  • Recent direct statistics for butter production in Wisconsin are hard to find, but back in 2008 it produced 164,000,000 kg of butter (22% of all butter in the US)

Eggs:

  • In 2020, The Netherlands produced about 649,000,000 kg of eggs.
  • In 2024, Wisconsin produced something close to 123,000,000 kg of eggs.  (The total number laid is available, but not their aggregate weight, so this is an estimate.)

Milk:

The Netherlands and Wisconsin both produce about 1.1 billion kg of drinking milk each year – that is, milk not further processed into cheese or butter.

What does all this mean?  Even though The Netherlands is only one quarter of the land area of Wisconsin, it produces 2/3 as much cheese and butter, the same amount of milk for drinking, and 5 times more eggs.  That’s astonishing. And this is the dairy industry; the numbers for farming are even better.

(How this compares to exports is a little complicated, because both The Netherlands and Wisconsin export most of their local production, while at the same time they import some of the same products from elsewhere for their local consumption.)

What’s their secret?  Well, aside from the inherent advantages of very fertile and farmable land, they are highly organized about it.  Check out this report from 2023, “Dutch Dairy In Figures“…

While we ate, I got more detail about Zach’s decision to move to the Netherlands, effectively cutting ties with the USA. It was the kind of move that many of our friends were talking about – even dreaming about – but Zach and Michael had actually done it. There were some common motivations we all shared, mostly these:

  • Being fed up with so-called “conservative” values infecting politics and culture.
  • Distaste for America’s completely automobile-focused way of living.
  • An impending sense of economic and even social collapse.

Before moving, Zach had lived in Portland for decades and that city was experiencing a sharp decline in quality of life. A lot of things he loved about the culture had been stomped down by changes in the cost of living, as local people who contributed to the vibrant nature of the city were priced out by newcomers speculating on real-estate, who then competed madly for jobs that would pay their mortgages, failed to find them, and were also forced to leave. The widening economic disparity cranked up the drug and homelessness problem to shocking levels and Portland’s very tolerant, well-meaning attitude towards encampments and open-air drug markets on public land in the middle of urban spaces made the problem hugely visible but did not actually do anything to address the causes, because that would have required much more money – and social cohesion – than the taxpayers wanted to spare.

This sort of thing has been happening to urban centers all over the USA. Tax revenue is getting hollowed out by the rise in remote work post-COVID, and is declining further as low-income white-collar jobs are being dissolved by AI software like the steel hull of a boat rusting in the sea. Many cities can’t cope and don’t know what to even try. Me and my friends are the lucky ones: Our skills are still mostly in demand, and we’re mobile enough to try living somewhere else.

So I asked Zach: Was it working for him?

“Well,” he said, “to be honest, we really should have done more research on living expenses before we moved, because the Netherlands has one of the highest costs of living in the world. But we were just so burned out, and tired of Portland. We had to try something else. And if this doesn’t work out, we’ve still done something important: We proved it’s possible. The bureaucracy is kind of insane, but we got here, and if we want to try living somewhere completely different a year from now, we know we can make that happen.”

It made me thoughtful. Would I ever want to leave the USA entirely? If not forever, then for a couple of years?

We finished up our snacks and Zach boxed a few things for Michael. He rode south, and I rode north to explore more of Amsterdam.

Yep, there’s a cycle road right through the building.
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Yep, there’s a cycle road right through the building.

I hung out next to a cool ceramic store for a while. So many fun things to point the camera at!

So many breakables, all in one place!
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So many breakables, all in one place!

I assume this is for holding flowers?
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I assume this is for holding flowers?

Adorbs! I would live in one of these if I could scale it up.
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Adorbs! I would live in one of these if I could scale it up.

I wonder how much a single square foot of land around here would cost?
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I wonder how much a single square foot of land around here would cost?

Hmm one of these things is not like the others.
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Hmm one of these things is not like the others.

So much detail in the expression!
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So much detail in the expression!

The Blues Brothers, for some reason!
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The Blues Brothers, for some reason!

Can’t help thinking of Rocky in Project Hail Mary when I see this…
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Can’t help thinking of Rocky in Project Hail Mary when I see this…

Shoes so big, even MY feet couldn’t clog them.
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Shoes so big, even MY feet couldn’t clog them.

“Psst, hey buddy, got some spare ink?”
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“Psst, hey buddy, got some spare ink?”

Lots of menus had a “broodje” section. Every time I saw the word I thought of my Mom, wandering around here 55 years ago, pointing at things.

There’s that word!
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There’s that word!

I blundered into the tulip market and spent a while sneaking photographs.

Amsterdam tulip market. They do ship overseas…
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Amsterdam tulip market. They do ship overseas…

Garden, garden, gardern
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Garden, garden, gardern

A nutcracker that wouldn’t even fit into your checked luggage…
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A nutcracker that wouldn’t even fit into your checked luggage…

Don’t park your bike on our slipper-clog inventory.
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Don’t park your bike on our slipper-clog inventory.

I guess there’s a market for it, or it wouldn’t make rent in Amsterdam…
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I guess there’s a market for it, or it wouldn’t make rent in Amsterdam…

Like my brief visit here years ago, I was enchanted by the way the canals were integrated with the rest of the transport system in the city. I think the most amusing variation I saw was an old barge being used as floating storage space for parked bicycles.

Too many bikes for the land. Gotta float some.
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Too many bikes for the land. Gotta float some.

Boats boats boats!
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Boats boats boats!

Afternoon procession.
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Afternoon procession.

I guess they can’t thrive all year…
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I guess they can’t thrive all year…

If I was in Oakland I would think this was a “ghost bike”, but here I’m not sure.
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If I was in Oakland I would think this was a “ghost bike”, but here I’m not sure.

The open square near the city center looked the same, though this time there was no grim reaper posing for photographs with the tourists.

You lounge on a monument, you’re gonna get into a photo. It happens…
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You lounge on a monument, you’re gonna get into a photo. It happens…

Rarrr!
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Rarrr!

I didn’t really have a social connection to the city, and if I was choosing a place to live I think I would want something with more parks and hills, but as a visitor I couldn’t get enough of the architecture. The crammed-together nature of the buildings, like old books on a shelf, was a feast for the eyes.

A classic shot.
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A classic shot.

Some of these buildings look squished.
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Some of these buildings look squished.

Want a diamond and some fried fish? You’ve come to the right building.
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Want a diamond and some fried fish? You’ve come to the right building.

Dinnertime chaos in the city center.
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Dinnertime chaos in the city center.

A grand street scene near the center of Amsterdam.
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A grand street scene near the center of Amsterdam.

Seeing some of the influences on San Francisco here…
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Seeing some of the influences on San Francisco here…

I love these detail-packed alleys.
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I love these detail-packed alleys.

Aah, the train station. I would soon be going in here, to catch a train headed into Germany. I scoped the place out.

Oh hey, I know this place!
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Oh hey, I know this place!

“If you’re gonna spew, spew into this.”
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“If you’re gonna spew, spew into this.”

Eventually my jet-lag caught me again, and I headed for the safety of the apartment. Zach and Michael welcomed me.

THE CUTEST. Oh, and the dog too.
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THE CUTEST. Oh, and the dog too.

Zach and I got to talking about music, then video games. After dinner we fired up a game on the Switch and played it together on the television. That turned into a four-hour gaming marathon and we were up very late. Just like old times!