A series of cafés

A day of writing!

I walked to a couple nearby coffee shops.  The first was full to bursting.  The snacks looked really good but there was nowhere to sit, so I tried another.

There I got a tasty cookie and a mocha with very good coffee but not enough chocolate. I sipped it and wrote for almost four hours.

I was pressed in by Norwegians on all sides having lively discussions, but I felt a bit lonely. Most of the time there’s been the constant sensory input of a new location, and the constant concentration of spinning the pedals and staying upright. But not today.

I realized I felt proud that I made this adventure happen.  Overall it felt like the right thing to do, even though my motives were complicated and I still couldn’t quite untangle them all, or perhaps even see them. I’ve been trying not to dwell on the big neon sign reading “UNEMPLOYED“, and trying not to let my mind drift too far into my finances. It’s only been three weeks and I’m still a really long way from even needing to dip into savings, but that paranoia is based on intense experience.

A couple weeks ago Michael said something that surprised me. “You know, you keep saying that this trip is irresponsible.  Like you’re an irresponsible person.  But you have this career, and you’ve been managing a property for ten years, doing all those repairs. You’re a really responsible person.  Isn’t that obvious to you?”

And I said: “Well, no. I don’t feel responsible.”

I’ve been supporting myself, trying to stay out of debt and build some kind of retirement plan, for so much of my life that it’s … unnatural I guess? … to have a different priority, even temporarily.

The first coffee shop was between me and the hotel, so I checked inside and it was almost empty.  They had several savory things left to sell, including some sausage croissants that were amazing.  I got two of them, and a slice of quiche.  That plus the rest of the cookie and the fries from the previous day got me more than full.